[New Year, New You] Day 12: Believe What You See, Not What They Say
The entire conventional education system operates on the assumption that you will dutifully swallow the information you are given, accept it as truth, then regurgitate it politely and perfectly at a specified date and time on test day. And after an average of twelve years of daily practice drilling this technique in place, it’s no wonder we tend to believe the things we’re told without questioning them, and without considering whether the information is even important or valuable to us.
We’re cruising along at top speed during our 21-Day New Year, New You Challenge, and if you’re still here tuning in and showing up, then you are a rare breed of rebel–someone ready for the article I’m about to share with you.
Your Own Personal Puppet Show
While there are many obstacles you’ll have to overcome as you reach bravely in the direction of your dreams, one of the most insidious and difficult to trap happens to be the puppet show going on in your own head--the different messages and misinformation you’ve been given by people over the years which cause you to pull back, doubt yourself, or question the way you see the world and what you believe in!
Let me explain…
The idea that we simply accept what we’re told stems back a long time–back to the days when the educated few were a minority who controlled the masses by keeping them in ignorance. People who had opinions, and the right to express them publicly, were seen as having the authority to make the decisions, the education to understand life much better than most, and so what they said was assumed and enforced as truth. Those few rebels who were to suggest that the earth might not be flat, or that women might not be all witches, rose up against massive pressure to conform and made change happen.
People tend to believe what they’re told and swallow the gossip in glossy magazines as if it were truth and then cling to it. I’ve seen this a lot in the food and health community–the latest supplement and earth-saving craze is announced on the market and everyone gets on the bandwagon. But then some long lost bacteria comes into view and what was put on a pedestal for its healing properties, now has hit the trash bins while a new and better, higher antioxidant power supplement takes main stage.
The tofu tirades, the chia seed cheerleaders, the gung-ho goji berry groupies all claimed their food was the latest and greatest until some new Amazonian testicle-boosting berry juice came along to steal the show. Then the whole cycle repeated itself again. And nobody ever stopped to do any research themselves. They just needed to be told something was great, and they would buy it.
Truth is Relative to Point of View
One of the most important reasons to consider the importance of today’s message is because when you aren’t aware of something, or don’t understand it, it’s much easier to be negatively controlled by it.
For example, not knowing your partner is having an affair on you, makes it much harder to handle an affair than knowing there is something fishy going on. Not knowing you have a specific health condition compromising your well-being makes it very difficult to improve your situation or make things better. Not knowing your child is having trouble with friends at school, can make you get frustrated and impatient with them for their “attitude,” rather than ask the right questions that solve the problem. In any area of life, when you understand something is there, you become much, much more able to handle and control and improve it.
Most of us don’t realize there’s a freakin’ 250-character puppet show going on in our own heads, and every puppet is a word view, personality, idea that someone or something fed you along the path of your life, and you picked it up and made it yours. You just took it on and made it true. So now, as you reach for brave goals and objectives in your life, one of the things you’ll run up against are puppets–these freaky voices in your head that say, “That’s not the way things work.” or “You’re not good enough,” or “You’re not cut out for that.”
Candies From Strangers
You learned young that you’re not supposed to accept candies from strangers, but nobody really taught you how to filter the ideas and information you receive and how to decide if it fits for YOU before you accept it as truth--how to be yourself, bravely communicate your ideas and question the ideas you’re given from others before adopting them as truth.
If you’ve been following along to the lessons in our 21-Day Challenge, then you know that one of the most powerful tools you’ve got, is your attention. And your life will go well and surge forward to the degree that you’re able to keep your attention on your goals, dreams and objectives for your life.
You might get a stomach ache from eating too much candy, but imagine how sinister it is when a little idea, a little doubt, a little comment about how you’re “just not cut out for it____enough” comes slithering in to suck your attention and get you stuck in your head doubting yourself instead of feeling fierce and focused with on where you want to go in life.
When you do not pre-screen the ideas and beliefs other people dump in your space, then you let anything in. Ideas which are not constructive, or are not actually yours can filter how you experience your life–they act like a slow and quiet leak in your lifeboat.
If you’re serious about reaching your goals and objectives for your life, then you’re going to need to know how to get a little more discerning about the messages you’re willing to receive and adopt in your life, and also kick out a few dusty puppets that may have been playing out their own little psychodrama in the back of your mind!
Slay the Dusty Puppets and Get Your Mind Back
Let’s make a little example of how these dusty puppets got into your mind space and then we’ll tackle how to get rid of them:
Let’s say your friend Susan has been dating Bill for a few months. When you get together with Susan she has a tendency to dump all her problems on you and get things off her chest. Over the course of a few conversations, you’ve actually been told a bunch of not-so-flattering things about Bill. He’s always late, has a snorty laugh and he gets carried away telling really bad jokes if he thinks you find him funny. He has a weird foot fetish and he’s really insecure about the fact that he’s losing his hair.
You’ve never met Bill, but you’ve already got plenty of stories abut him from your conversations with Susan.
One day, it’s time to meet Bill. Rather than feel enthusiastic curiosity about meeting this new person, you already know what to look for. As soon as you look at Bill, you try to hold yourself back from noticing his bald spot and think of how you’ll be able to hide your feet from his view once you get inside the house. You’re very aware of his snorty laugh, and try to make sure you control your own laughter so he doesn’t get carried away with his bad jokes!
Before you even met Bill you’d already been so heavily informed about his foibles and challenges that you couldn’t even see him for who he was. You already were seeing him through the eyes of Susan–running in the back of your mind were all the things you’d been told about him so you couldn’t even see and evaluate Poor Bill on his own merit.
This is a little example of how other people’s comments and opinions can filter your perceptions and influence how you receive and interpret information. But this is just a tiny little example related to a short-term relationship. It’s easier to look back after meeting Bill and realize, “Hey! I didn’t give him a fair shot. I was believing everything Susan told me.” The more you get to know Bill and have great conversations with him, the more you will form your own opinions about who he is and it’s likely you’ll not even be phased by the things that Susan told you–those were her reactions and observations.
It’s pretty easy to see this kind of thing and shake it off when it happens. But how much more difficult do you suspect it is to “shake off” ideas and opinions you’ve been given about life, finances, yourself and your abilities that you may have been given/adopted long before you ever remember doing so?
You only spend time once in a while with Bill. Life is there looking you in the eyes every single day, and many of the ideas that you have about how it works and what you’re capable of doing or achieving while you play the game of life have been twisted, confusing and downright LIES! And these lies that hold you back in the hamster wheel of doubt, hesitation, confusion and insecurity.
Does Your Perspective Perfume Stink?
Have you ever noticed that when you put perfume on in the morning, long after you’ve taken it off and no longer perceive it very easily, other people still tell you it smells great?
The longer you’ve been sitting in your own “perfume” of perceptions and ideas and viewpoints on life, the harder it will be for you to see and recognize them as “perfume” and the more you’ll start to believe it’s “just the way things are” or “just the way you are.”
That’s dangerous, my little ninja buddy!
In this week’s podcast I share a super inspiring story about my friend Sarah. I think you’ll just love her and her life is a crazy, brave example of how truly dangerous it can be to accept what you’re told at face value without considering if you actually believe it. And, if you discover you don’t believe in it, then finding the courage to stand up, step up or speak out against something is even harder.
But hard doesn’t mean impossible. And what you’ll discover is that every time you just accepted somebody else’s world view as your own–you just agreed that it was probably true, you made it true.
If You Believe It, It Will Be True
“Whether you think you can,
or you think you can’t–you’re right.”
― Henry Ford
The more you tell yourself something is true, the more it becomes true. THIS is the danger of adopting other people’s viewpoints and ideas and accepting them as your own! As we move forward in the coming days’ message I have some super sassy podcasts and butt-kicking, boot-wearing blogs for you.
So stay tuned, keep sticking with it and we’ll get those dusty puppets off your stage so we can have you take the stage lights and knock off socks!!
Love and thanks again so much for being here!
Tera