by Saskia Shakin
As a public speaking coach for 30 years, I have heard it all: all the excuses, all the fears, all the roadblocks and all the reasons why people would rather dig ditches than get up in front of a room and give a speech.
The irony is that we speak all the time: Every day; to all kinds of people; in all situations;
in all kinds of places. And unless you are in a closet, muttering to yourself, you ARE speaking in public. The difference is that you just don’t think of it as such. And that’s my point: the difference lies in our thinking, not in our reality.
It is not the number of people we are facing that determines whether we are speaking in public; it is how we face ourselves.
We all have the skill. And we have practiced it since we started to formulate words and sentences, which means since we were toddlers. No toddler is afraid of public speaking!
I am here to help you unlearn something that does not serve you. If you stifle your voice, if you hold back your vision, if you play small rather than live large, you are not only doing yourself a major disservice, you are depriving the world of your unique point of view … of your unique place in life, and of the message that you, and only you, can convey.
To help you see yourself as the unique, one-of-a-kind spirit that you are, consider these
Tips for the Timid:
1. KNOW WHO YOU ARE:
Before you can go up to a podium and hold your own, you must know who you are. That means what you value, what you love, what inspires you, and what you wish to leave behind. You bring not only a speech to the front of the room . . . you bring your life!
2. TAKE TIME OUT:
Don’t work on your speech. Work on yourself first. Go for a long walk in the woods or a park; take a long bubble bath; sit on a meditation cushion; do a gentle Yoga session; give yourself the gift of alone-time. Find out what matters most to you. That is what will inform what you say. Facts & figures will merely support you, but they hold no weight
unless you know why you’re saying what you’re saying.
3. FIND YOUR THEME
A speech is just a collection of thoughts and words. What ties them together is a theme.
Your theme will help us hold onto thoughts that we can’t retrieve because they are gone with the wind. In writing, we can always look back; in speech, we can’t hear back. So a theme reminds us why we are listening in the first place. My theme, for instance, in many of my own talks is that ALL speaking is public speaking.
Your theme may be your point, but it doesn’t have to be. It’s job is to bring all parts of your talk into a coherent whole. So, like an umbrella, is has to cover all aspects of your information and be able, like the umbrella, to stand out as the organizing principle.
4. TELL A STORY
Most people will say that the fear factor comes in not when they have to speak but when they have to “give a speech.” The difference is that in the first case, you can be spontaneous; in the second, you have to be organized. True enough.
And I’m here to tell you that the one arena where we all do well is telling a story.
A story has its own structure. It’s malleable, but present. So all we have to do is get the story line in place, and the work is almost done. I say “almost” because some people just ramble on through a story and you think you’ll die (or wish they would!) before they reach the end. So it does take work to tell a good story, but the work will pay off big time. Stories get remembered. Facts & figures don’t — unless they are wrapped in a clear story.
5. CLAIM THE STAGE
You cannot approach the stage apologetically. Do not go up unless you feel that you have a right to be there. Your attitude will convey volumes before you even open your mouth.
So make sure to own the spotlight. Know that you are there to share. That you have a unique point of view that is worth hearing. And if you doubt that, then change your topic.
Make it your own. Make it something that inspires you because only then can you inspire anyone else.
All speaking is public speaking.
By Saskia Shakin, Author,
More Than Words Can Say: The Making of Inspired Speakers