[New Year, New You] Day 8: The Key to Being Competent
Welcome to Day 8 of our 21-Day New Year, New You Challenge. We’ve been covering some helpful ideas about how to set your goals, then bravely persist in making them happen. We’ve talked about the importance of taking one step at a time and keeping the whole picture in perspective. We talked about obstacles and how important they are to your degree of pleasure and satisfaction in life. And we’ve talked about why being present to what’s actually happening will make you much, much more able to face and handle the problems in front of you.
I don’t know what goals and objectives you set for yourself, but since we’ve covered many of the internal things you’ll need to have or strengthen to achieve them, let’s talk about another big obstacle that you will eventually have to face–other people! Difficult situations with other people may be one of the biggest sources of stress affecting our health and well-being. While you can throw out the cheese puffs, clear out your closet, move homes, change cities and even countries to rebuild your life, people are a different kind of problem to handle.
To be truly successful at making your goals and dreams happen, chances are pretty good you’re going to need to learn how to handle other people and improve their situation, or yours. Today’s blog post might be the most important thing you ever read when it comes to effectively handling other people!
Who the Heck is Ron Clark?
Today’s lesson is about competence–which may be the single-most important skill you work on in this entire program. But let me explain why:
Competence isn’t how many certificates you can stack on your wall, or how many 12-letter words you can use. It’s not how much people like and admire you, or how high you can climb the corporate ladder. The dictionary defines competence as;
“the ability to do something successfully or efficiently.”
If you’re here because you’ve set goals and dreams for yourself, then there is going to be more to handle than just time, money, energy and attention. You’re going to need to learn how to handle the time, money, energy and attention of other people! It might be your children, your mother-in-law or your co-workers and your boss. That’s a big job!!
If you don’t want to “go with the flow” of life as it has been, and get sucked into the stream of “the way things are” you’re going to need to have a few skills to help you assert boundaries, handle confusions and improve situations with other people.
One of my favorite examples of leadership comes from a made for TV movie called, The Ron Clark Story. It’s a brilliant example of how you can radically change and improve the lives of others, even in some of the worst conditions. For me, Ron Clark is one of the world’s best examples of competence.
For me, competence is the ability to be fully present to what you’re doing when you’re doing it.
If you can squeeze in the time to watch this made for TV movie you will not regret it! Ron Clark is an AMAZING example of effective, strong leadership and he never resorted to punishment to handle and clean up one of the worst educational environments in the US.! He takes one of the most extreme classroom situations where things were out control, the children were lost, confused, rebellious, destructive and self-destructive, and he did what few other people could. He turned the whole situation around and within one year had his class out performing any other class in the district.
He brought an entire classroom from bottom of the bucket to top of the class and has gone on to share his techniques and his story with the world. You can learn more about him here, and just Google to your heart’s content to find some fantastic stories and interviews about him.
The Key to Competence
Ron Clark was a teacher with courage from the south. He was looking for a challenge and drove himself to the Bronx. Then just rocked up to the first school he found and asked for a job. They gave him the class nobody wanted or knew how to handle. They gave him the class that had been through so many teachers, the children had given up. And those kids, having been burned ten too many times by their own life circumstances and previous poor attempts to at receiving help, gave him as much trouble as they could possibly manage.
And how he overcame it is a story every parent, and every person, should watch.
If Ron Clark had just stood up at the front of the class and done what everyone else had done, we would not being talking about him now. But he didn’t just try to shove more curriculum down the throats of already overwhelmed students. He could see enough to understand that before he could get the kids hustling, he needed to understand their personal situations, earn their trust, respect and friendship.
He went to the home of every. single. student. to understand what was happening for them. If competence is being fully present to what you’re doing when you’re doing it, he made sure that he really understood who he was communicating to and what their situation was before he asked anything of them.
There are a couple moments in this movie where he does another thing that was really smart–he had to earn their trust. He did that in a few ways–by never giving up, but putting up with an enormous amount of disruptive behaviour. But not by being a doormat. He just quietly repainted walls, cleaned up messes, but KEPT ON REACHING FOR THE KIDS. He showed up in the playground willing to make a fool of himself trying to learn how to skip.
He lined up boxes and boxes of chocolate milk at the front of the class and said he would drink them until he puked, and would drink one for every question they got right. He got in on their level, was brave, persistent, vulnerable and never gave up. He never stopped looking for the next piece of the puzzle. And how he changed the lives of the students in that class, and gave teaching a whole new definition of what was possible, is un-freakin’-believable!! I really hope you take the time to watch that story.
One Thing At a Time Done Well
True competence is the ability to do what you’re doing while you’re doing it–to be fully present, attentive and engaged with one thing fully so as to get the best result possible. Ron Clark wasn’t married at the time, he didn’t have his own children yet. He had one major goal and he put his whole self into it. And, from what I can understand, he’s still doing exactly that!
If you are in a situation where there are a lot of different stresses and pressures, then you may feel like you’ve got a whole lot of fires burning and aren’t sure which to put out first. No matter how many things are currently taking up your attention or causing you concern, you can only really honestly handle one thing well at a time.
Since we’ve addressed some of the pressures on our attention with the ever-present internet, then you know that our attention is under attack! The most valuable thing you have (companies literally pay billions of dollars trying to get a piece of it) and the most powerful tool you own (it can build empires, heal relationships, save lives and create miracles) is your attention! And one of the most important things you will do, is develop your ability to direct your attention and keep your attention on one thing at a time.
The ability to focus on one thing at time can take you immediately out of overwhelm and confusion and bring you, and those in your environment, into a significantly more peaceful and relaxed state of mind. It’s not hard to see that there’s a swirling storm of sensation and distraction coming in from all directions!
Your ability to focus on one thing fully at a time will make you the calm in the storm of life. It will make you someone others trust to be fully present when they are communicating to you, someone who gets things done well, and isn’t afraid to face situations and solve them.
When we’re juggling work, kids and commitments of one kind and another, the ability to grab onto one clear task, one person, one situation, one obstacle at a time and attend to it fully and completely can change everything about your ability to handle overwhelm and resolve confusion for yourself, and for others.
Everyday Competence in Action
How many times do you ask your children or your spouse to do something while you’re juggling the laundry and worried about what you’ll make for supper? How effective is your communication when you ask your children to make their bed or clean their room, while you’re cleaning up a mess in the kitchen and worried about company coming over? How much do you enjoy a conversation with someone when it’s obvious their attention is on wherever they need to be doing next, or they’re thinking about something else and giving you a dopey smile with glazed-over eyes pretending to listen to you?
The dispersion of our attention and confusion are some of the biggest things dragging us down! Whether you’re trying to handle your own overwhelm and confusion, or help others resolve it in the environment around you, the ability to put your attention on one thing at a time may be the most important tool you’ll ever use to effectively handle challenging situations and work to achieve your goals in life!
This little simpleton trick in your pocket, of being fully present to what you’re doing when you’re doing it, is another secret, spiritual ninja weapon. Using it will set you apart from the crowd of people who are distracted, overwhelmed and “multi-tasking.” Whatever it is–physical, emotional, relational, or otherwise, you really can overcome just about anything if you just take it one little piece at a time and put all of your attention on what you’re doing when you’re doing it.
So, how’s about you got put all your attention on this sassy little podcast which is meant to accompany this blog post, and let me know what you think! 😉
Love and laser focus,
Tera